Browse quotes about children.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

May 1, 2014 W.C. Fields

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

April 30, 2014 Nancy Mitford

There are only two things a child will share willingly — communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

April 29, 2014 Benjamin Spock

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you’re feeling festive?

April 28, 2014 Roseanne Barr

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

April 27, 2014 Ray Romano

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

January 23, 2013 Phyllis Diller ,