W.C. Fields

William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields was known for his comic persona as a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs, children and women.

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.

May 30, 2014 W.C. Fields ,

Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

May 1, 2014 W.C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

November 26, 2012 W.C. Fields