William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields was known for his comic persona as a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs, children and women.
If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.
Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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