Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler is an American comedian and advocate for animal rescue.

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

June 4, 2014 Elayne Boosler

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

April 11, 2014 Elayne Boosler

We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, “You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.”

April 15, 2013 Elayne Boosler ,

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

April 3, 2013 Elayne Boosler ,