Quotes from unknown sources.

I’d like to die like my grandfather, peacefully in my sleep – not screaming like the passengers in his car.

March 2, 2014 Anonymous

Heaven doesn’t want me, and hell’s afraid I’ll take over.

March 1, 2014 Anonymous

Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?

February 27, 2014 Anonymous

My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, “Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.”

February 26, 2014 Anonymous

Not only is this incomprehensible, but the ink is ugly and the paper is from the wrong kind of tree.

February 22, 2014 Anonymous ,

Don’t say yes until I finish talking.

February 17, 2014 Anonymous

Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?

February 13, 2014 Anonymous ,

What’s “real time”? Here and now. As opposed to fake time which only occurs there and then.

February 12, 2014 Anonymous

If you add a teaspoon of wine to a barrel of sewage, you get sewage. If you add a teaspoon of sewage to a barrel of wine, you get sewage. This, my son, is entropy.

February 8, 2014 Anonymous

What can you say about a society that believes God is dead and Elvis is alive?

February 7, 2014 Anonymous