Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

When you make your peace with authority, you become authority.

July 27, 2014 Jim Morrison

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.

July 26, 2014 Jerry Seinfeld

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Gods are fragile things – they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

July 24, 2014 Chapman Cohen

It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.

July 23, 2014 Harry Hill

I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

July 22, 2014 Fred Allen

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

July 21, 2014 Mark Twain

Drama is life with the dull bits left out.

July 20, 2014 Alfred Hitchcock

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.